If you have been together for a while or questioning whether you should go or stay, here are some tough questions to
Regardless of your current relationship status, it is nice to know where one another stands. Here are 20 tough questions to ask your mate before moving forward. The goal is to stay married, not just get married.
1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse?
Is your partner intimidated by your success? Do they encourage you to be the best you, you can possibly be?
2. Do we really accept one another?
There will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no one should be in a situation where they feel they aren’t allowed to be authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are.
Being your authentic self is something that should just be. No person should be made to fee like they have to be somebody else in order to be in the relationship. Yes, people have flaws but those flaws are what makes that person who they are.
3. Who am I?
Do you know who you are? How can an individual know what is best for them if you don’t have a clue as to who you are?
4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?
If you love the idea of getting married but not the person you are marrying then getting married is not a good idea. You should not ever get into a relationship thinking they will make you happy. You have to be happy within yourself first before trying to add a another person into your mix. If you truly love someone but you tend to fight a lot then you may want to do some type of counseling.
5. Am I feeling trapped?
Do you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you’ve invested time or are you really invested in your mate?
Do you wish you had a way out of the relationship? Do you hold on just because you invested so much time and energy into the relationship or because you are invested in your partner?
6. What am I doing to hold us back?
Identify the problem whether it is being more attentive, don’t hold onto things, or suggest going to counseling. Regardless of the issue, step up to the plate if you want to keep your mate.
7. Is this relationship balanced?
Do both of you compromise, sacrifice, support and care for one another? Or is one giving more than the other one?
8. Can we have fun together?
I’m sure you have seen a couple out somewhere and the two of them would rather jump off a cliff, face first that to sit there with that person. That is not fun at all. Being able to laugh and have fun together only ensures your success as a couple. You two will go through the ups and the downs, you need to be able to laugh throughout the process.
9. Can we have fun apart?
Co-dependency isn’t a great look.
10. Why am I in this relationship?
Is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you’re afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you’re scared to leave?
Are you in the relationship because you are afraid to be alone, concerned about money or is the thought of leaving the life you built scary? Or do you value, love, trust and respect the person you are with which is why you are in the relationship.
11. Where is this going?
Living in the “now” is great, but eventually the partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious.
You must have a road map or GPS if you are going somewhere you have never been before. Marriage is the same way. Have a plan as to which direction the two of you are going in.
12. Do I really trust my partner?
For some, the immediate response to this can be devastating. If you’re one of them, it’s time to ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without it, there’s no chance.
Your relationship should be built on trust. If it isn’t you should ask what you can do to rebuild that trust. No trust means no relationship.
13. Am I with a good person?
14. Am I attracted to my partner?
Physical attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you’re not attracted to — just because it’s comfortable or “perfect on paper” isn’t fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected.
15. Am I a parent or a partner?
If you feel you are raising your boyfriend and or husband, then that may make you resent them.
16. Does my partner have my back?
You and your mate are a team. You two you be able to stand up for one another, support each other and show a united front at all times. If you want to throw your mate under the bus, find out why?
17. Are we looking in the same direction?
This is HUGE. Most couples avoid having complex talks like politics, religion, marriage and babies. The hope is that these things will somehow work themselves out. These things will come up at some point in time, and in order to avoid the complications, talk this out first.
18. Are we growing together?
Being a human being living on this earth, we all have a right to grow and develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you and your partner still indulging in your passions (individual and shared) and growing as individuals?
19. Am I still me?
Being married each person should maintain their identity. Do try to fit someone else’s idea of who they think you should be. Be who you are at all times.
20. What is my gut telling me?
You have intuition for a reason. Listen to yourself.
Intuition is a gift we have to help us discern certain things. ALWAYS TRUST THE BRAIN IN THE BELLY!